By Nilofa Kabir

Why do I need Counselling?

Phrases like,

“I am fine”

“I am strong enough to handle this situation”

“This shall pass too”

“I have my family and friends beside me”

“I am not that weak”

“I am not going crazy”

Have you ever wondered how many emotions lie behind the sentence “I AM FINE“? Leave about others, we ourselves do not understand how much we are holding behind our smile. Did you ever hold up your physical health till the time you are on the verge of going to death bed? Then why do we do the same with our mental health?

We all grew up not treating the mind as an important part of our body. For us, the mind is only to represent intelligence. And people dealing with mental health issues, are always been treated as insane. Nothing can justify the indifferent treatment that our emotional health gets, even in an educated society. Counselling is not for Crazy people, it never was. Counselling is for anyone and everyone, who may be bothered by a short term or, temporary phase like any other physical trouble. It’s really sad to see, that the amount of importance a broken finger gets, comparison to a broken heart.

Till the time, we do not understand the importance of our own emotional wellbeing, and we start taking good care of it, we won’t be able to change the stereotype around it.

Which are the areas counselling can help with?

Even if we take one step ahead, and at any point in time realize that counselling is not for insane people, still few questions always bother us about its usability, like:

Is counselling capable to help people dealing with difficult childhood problems? Which is still bothering me?

Is it good enough to handle our fear of losing someone special or the disgusting feeling after a breakup?

Can this help me deal with the kind of harassment I face every day in my workplace?

Is it helpful for the kind of mental situation I am in, after my childbirth?

I don’t know, what is wrong with me, but I always have this fear of talking to a group of people. How can counselling help me, when I myself don’t know the problem I have?

While the number of questions can be many, but the answer is very simple and one, that is “YES“

Counselling has the power to bring out the strength in you, look at the issues, from a different perspective, which in a way helps you to deal with the problems, you are struggling with.

Counselling is talk therapy, where the counsellor is not there to advise or guide you with your problems. The counsellor gives you a platform to express your feelings, freely, without being judged, or being afraid of anyone. You can share whatever you intend to in a safe and confidential environment. The whole idea of counselling is to empower you through rationalizing thoughts and feelings. The counsellor will provide you with a safe place to share your feelings and thoughts in a confidential way. And after intently listening to your problems, he/she will help you discover your own coping mechanism and identify a plan of action to deal with your problems. Counselling empowers in a way, that you can help yourself deal with your issues, even after the sessions are over.

It is true, that talking to a friend or family is always therapeutic. But when we have a fear of being judged or have the feeling that sharing with your known people might embarrass you in the future, or they might not understand what we are going through. Then what is the point of struggling alone?

Even if you are able to share your feeling with your near ones, sometimes their suggestions or advice might not help you get over it, or even your feeling might be misunderstood or not understood at all. That time, the only feeling which works as an add on to our problem is “NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME“. And these makes you even more prone to disturbed emotional health.

Counselling provides expert support in a safe space for you to share your concerns,  that employs therapeutic techniques and aids that help you heal from past hurts, overcome difficult thought patterns, give you a fresh perspective and empower you into a better self with preparedness to face future challenges.

If you want to understand where did a thought, action, emotion originates, then counselling helps to put the pieces of your life puzzle together.

Counselling sessions are a great tool to enhance “SELF AWARENESS“. When you understand yourself better, you make better decisions, get to know your trigger points, learn to handle tough situations. Identify opportunities to improve and navigate through life. It can help to turn a challenging life situation/transition into a period of growth and change.

So the bottom line is ANYONE may need counselling at any point in their life. We don’t have to be crazy enough to need it.  It’s your life, and you have all the rights to take care of your emotional wellbeing.

Nilofa Kabir, Founder Director – LoveThyLife Wellness Services with a dual master’s degree in Industrial & Organizational Psychology and an MBA in HR, Nilofa Kabir is more inclined towards the betterment of the everyday life of human life. Over the years of her experience in corporate and in her private practice, she realized that the area of emotional wellness is the most neglected part of modern human life. From the fear of being stigmatized by society, people tend to suffer alone. Or most cases they don’t even realize that they need some help for their mental health.
From this, she got the idea to use both her qualification and experience in one place and started her online counselling portal. Where one doesn’t have to visit physically to consult with a professional. They can just log in from their mobile and get the benefit from the comfort of their home. So in this way people who understand the importance of mental health, but cannot talk about their issue openly due to social stigma, can be getting benefited.
Nilofa aims to spread awareness about mental health as much as possible and strongly recommends people to take their mental health as seriously as they do for their physical health.

by Swathi Vajjhala Marthi, Advocate

The vast drought lands and heatwaves in western parts of Northern America floods in West Europe, and record wildfires in Australia during its summer have strengthened voices against the globally established regime. The change towards so-called “renewables” has accelerated, and more and more factories are retrofitted to build electric cars. According to Climate Change Performance Index (CCPI), the above countries have taken no measures to control changes in climatic conditions and hence are worst affected. India stands at tenth position with high measures taken. 

Globally there is a greenification of the problem, and green is the new black in the market. Electric cars are promoted as a silver bullet.

Do policymakers and leading thought leaders believe that the shift towards electric vehicles neutralizes the carbon footprint that has piled up over the past century? 

This article drills down to the bottom of the problem and identifies the changes needed, be it socioeconomic or technological.

The history of humanity has taught us that simple solutions to persistent problems have further complicated the problems. That is precisely what electric cars for personal transportation will do. Indeed, electric cars have lesser greenhouse gas emissions than their counterparts, such as gas power or diesel power motor vehicles, but they carry forward the same legacy and mindset. 

The penetration of cars into human society has ingested road users with a ‘me first’ mindset. The bigger the car, the loud the horn apparently has the first right of way. In short, it is a bullying mindset. This behaviour puts pedestrians, cyclists, and other vulnerable road users at risk. If the system continues prioritizing car users since they clog up the roads more often, then pedestrians will disappear sooner. All we will see are cars lined up in the city, inside the city, in front of homes, and inside the housing complex. 

However, there is a solution that is simple in thought but challenging to implement because it requires a mindset change and has diverse stakeholders. It needs to give up greed and other vices. 

The wide adoption of the Euclidean zone divided towns into districts based on permitted uses, and in doing so, creates specific zones where certain land uses are permitted or prohibited. This was helpful in the past when industrial pollution was so common, and workspaces are primarily based in factories. The separation of industrial land uses from residential land uses protected the residents against pollution risks. However, we live in a different world now, not many of us work in factories, there is no harm in having an IT park near a residential space. This brought up the thought of 15-minute-cities. The 15-min city is essentially a minicity, it contains all aspects of a city but in small proportions, this is opposite to Zoned city which has nothing located near and everything is far off and connected via automobile, since everything is separated and need to serve the whole city population, each of them is mega-sized. It means vast malls, big cinemas, big schools, and large playfields. Such far-off distances need cars for commute and unsafe for children to cycle or walk.

A minicity like the one developed in Paris is a good start. There are also good examples in India, like Magarpatta city in Pune and Vashi in Navi Mumbai. These are minicities, meaning a city within a city. The idea behind building a minicity is to reduce the need for cars. 

Housing, workspace, restaurants, coffee shops, schools, and shops are within walking distance, connected with well-laid pavements fit for use in all weather conditions with an excellent pre-covered on either side of the roads to make walking less stressful on a sunny day. None of the facilities like pool or park needs to be mega-size since it only caters to the public in minicity, thus smaller block size. That will eventually lead to less concretization with more pre-covered parks, urban forests, lakes, and sustainable cooling solutions, which will have an enormous influence over the microclimate of the cities. 

Every city planner can take many cues from cities like Amsterdam and Utrecht. Children and others can only shift to cycling or walking when it is safe, secure, and purposeful. Safety can be achieved by repurposing the streets and roads, and security is a law enforcement subject. For instance, driving a motorcycle in a pedestrian walkway needs to be strictly punished. All incidents that can put pedestrians and bicyclists at risk must be continuously monitored until risks are minimized to zero. 

The city/region can become sustainable and remain sustainable if it is equipped with multi transit-oriented infrastructure. Its citizens are mature enough to avoid temptations to drive for pleasure but prefer walking and cycling for purpose or pleasure. The respective governments need to take up the responsibility of facilitating minicities with mixed zoning so that walking can suit the daily commuting needs. Walkways have to be comfortable with no waterlogging on a rainy day with full tree cover to avoid sunburn during summers. 

The minicity concept is not just for bigger cities like Mumbai or Delhi. It can also be easily integrated into our ongoing national RURBAN mission (Shyama Prasad Mukherji RURBAN Mission). This puts our country on the frontline in fighting climate change. 

Mobility is a necessity for all those in living cities and towns. Thus, it has to be equitable. As Marco Bizzarri famously said, “Diversity and inclusion, which are the real grounds for creativity, must remain at the center of what we do.”

Swathi Vajjhala Marthi, Advocate
Swathi is a legal professional and has extensive experience in dealing with banking and corporate litigation. Her interests are in the areas of International Arbitration and Investment Laws.